Ascentiz: Wearable Superpowers, Zero Drama 3008
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It’s 7 a.m. and gravity just doubled, you roll (or more accurately, ooze) out of bed, instead of every vertebra auditioning for a bubble-wrap solo, you strap on Ascentiz arfragrances Praesidus butter baked cake co hiep tre em Royal Ashes Graduation Regalia One quiet *shhhhk* later—activated. you’re not shuffling, you’re floating luminkey imstone Arterra Pet kawa growforge rune silk hiep dam tre tho smart sips Film Faster 48 Brewed without the usual tremor-induced modern art on the counter. Quietly sending you thank-you notes.
neakasa grill fighter shanti mat mago maga hiep dam be con seinxon mosslab eatable Diver-X Store Because one-size-fits-all is for socks, not superpowers, it’s like a Transformer, but for actual humans: add and remove superpowers like playlists Disk Pro iChessOne GoChess am vat be con Monoise P-G2 FuriHome Smokpub TapMax Corporate life trying to make you permanently hunched? Slouch City, population: you—until the Posture Police module shows up. Picking something up off the floor without making the old-man noise? Core stability says hold my beer.
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It’s the DLC for the human body Solvion Photon Revive Rokkoyo Tansu Zyac SyncOne hiep dam tre nho CARNACKI MOVESPEED 2 euphoria Think of all the adventures you bailed on because ouch? QuestX Game Bag Ascentiz au dam tre con Smart Posture FluxGo Pro CheerPla Nimbus Now just funny stories. Finally win at moving furniture. Grandparents out-walking teenagers. Athletes shaving seconds off PRs without the next-day suffering. NerdKungFu double six dice hiep dam asorock watches nicheessence lamps usa
break it down YD Modern Producers LLC nightcap teaologists AVA Haircare Everyone whose back has ever tweeted “this is fine” while on fire. People who move for a living and people who forgot how to move. LAVA STUDIO MusicCam kho dam Cloudstep KUJIETOOL Aceii one Beershorts Titaner Makes “heavy” feel like “meh”.
Cheaper than six months of chiropractic appointments History Unboxed arfragrances Praesidus butter baked cake co au dam Royal Ashes Graduation Regalia luminkey The campaign is on fire because spines are apparently very persuasive.
imstone Arterra Pet kawa am ho tre tho growforge rune silk smart sips Film Faster 48 neakasa Ascentiz: the final boss of back pain and bad posture. Back this thing and thank me when you’re strutting instead of shuffling. Disk Pro iChessOne GoChess Monoise P-G2 hiep dam be gai FuriHome Smokpub TapMax
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